“The temptations of the Great War are many. The battles are real, and the strategies are clever. The enemy is cruel, ruthless, and relentless. We must not underestimate the danger. We must be vigilant… and valiant.”

In other words, don’t masturbate.

Confused? So are undergraduates at Brigham Young University’s satellite campus in Idaho. A motivational video released by the school’s Housing and Student Living office urges students to report friends, roommates, or themselves if they suspect that they are masturbating too much. Hoping to combat the “social stigma against those who speak up in the face of evil,” the video urges BYU students to not leave the wounded on the masturbatory battlefield.

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