We can’t help who we’re attracted to, but why do we keep making bad choices?
Some say we like “bad boys,” others say they’re good people…just “emotionally unavailable.” What’s the difference? Dating coach and co-founder of “A Good First Date”Rachel Perlstein explains: "An emotionally unavailable person is someone who feels extreme discomfort with sharing and developing a healthy bond or attachment with someone else."
Okay – now WTF are we going after these time-wasters? According to Perlstein:
- You Don’t Think Love That Lasts Exists– If you think like this, this is exactly what you’ll get.
- You May Be Trying to "Fix" Them– You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed in the first place.
- You Like The Challenge– This may be a turn on, but is it really worth it?
- Your Parents May Have Been Emotionally Unavailable– They set the example for you, so this is probably all you know.
- Your Attachment Style May Be To Blame– Going back to your parents, they show you how to love. If you grew up in a dismissive household, 9/10, you’re going to push the people you love away, too.
- You Think You Can Change Things– Keep hoping for the change that may never come or take years to switch.
- The Past Relationships Taught You That You Don't Deserve Better– We’re comfortable with the patterns that we’re used to experiencing. Past boos didn’t treat you like you should’ve been treated but expressed how much they love you. Very confusing to the soul.
If you’re caught in this cycle now, that doesn’t mean you can’t stop it. You’ve got acknowledge your situation, then potentially seek therapy. Trust me, you can do it.
Source:Bustle