(NYPost.com)
According to MarketWatch, lawyers in the US see a 25 to 30% increase in divorce cases during the first month of the year.
“January really is divorce month. Now is when people will come in for initial consults to get educated about divorce, and [then] they actually file in the spring,” says New York City attorney Jacqueline Newman. Some clients just want to get through the holidays first, she added. “No one wants a summons in their stocking.”
Another reason for the January timing is finances.
“From a business perspective, you want to wait until [your spouse’s] year-end bonuses happen,” says Newman, author of “The New Rules of Divorce: Twelve Secrets To Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness” (Atria Books), out Tuesday. Assets, including bonuses, accumulated during the marriage are all in play when it comes to dividing property.
Despite many of her clients’ claims that a split “came out of nowhere,” she says there are certain “tells” that precipitate the big D. Here are the most common signs that your spouse is getting ready to call it quits.
Lavish spending — or cutting back
In a split, attorneys conduct a “spousal support analysis” to determine alimony — especially if one partner brings home more bacon. So watch out for unusual changes in expenditures.
“A spouse will set up a lifestyle that they want supported by the other spouse,” Newman says. “They might spend time shopping to show that their lifestyle involves expensive clothing, dinners and theater.”
On the flip side, “A husband might say, ‘We’re not going on vacation this year, no more European trips.’ He’ll start doing things like that so that when they get divorced, he can say, ‘Oh, it was years ago we went on that fancy trip. We don’t do that now.’”
New haircuts and hitting the gym
“If someone is getting into a new relationship they’re going to care a lot more about their appearance than they may have before,” Newman says.
And while more frequent trips to the gym might just be the result of a New Year’s resolution and not an affair, the attorney says things get more suspicious when the workouts are in combination with other red flags: “late nights at the office, business trips and not being able to explain where they are.”
No more nagging
If your spouse has been complaining about you and everything you do — then suddenly stops — It may be a bad sign.
“When someone stops complaining, and won’t talk to you about any of [their problems], it’s because they’re trying to create distance,” says Newman. “It could be a way to try and protect them and you — so they can rationalize, when the relationship is ending, ‘We weren’t that close anyway.’”
If you want to save a marriage, refuse to let your partner check out.
“Don’t let communication shut down,” Newman says. She also warns against life-consuming hobbies or social activities — including social media — that don’t leave room for your partner.
Pushing for another kid
When marriages turn sour, Newman say, “A lot of people think having another baby will make everything better.”
But, she adds, “Oftentimes that just adds more stress to a stressful situation. Having a baby is not an easy time in life.”
Before you jump to drastic measures, the lawyer suggests scheduling a weekly date night: “Do a check-in and make sure you still like each other.”
Link:https://nypost.com/2020/01/07/january-is-divorce-month-these