I don’t care how in love you think you are. Everyone needs some me-time every once in a while. We all know that yet when we hear our boo tell us to“leave them the alone”we tend to get upset and feel rejected.
Clearly, it’s a communication problem. So to solve it, here’s how experts say you can ask for some space without making it seem like something is wrong and convince your SO that it’s actually mutually beneficial.
Explain what you mean by “time apart” or “space.”You’re going to have to give them a little more than I need some “space.”You know how that sounds.Let them know you just need a night to “do you” and you’ll be back refreshed. Marriage and family therapist Talia Wagner says “the key to success with these types of requests is the ability to see it from their perspective, not just your own.” You wouldn’t like it if the just ghosted you for the afternoon to be alone with no explanation,so don’t do that to them.
Be mindful of how you phrase the request.“If you ask nicely and kindly and stress that it’s something you both need and would benefit from, it goes a long way,” says Wagner. If your tone comes off as frustrated, you’re going to get frustration back. And make sure to stress it’s a “we” thing, not a “you” thing.
Really underscore the benefits of time apart.Psychologist and sex therapist Stephanie Buehler says it helps to point out that the romantic and sexual benefits to some breathing room. “Too much togetherness can feel like ‘family time’ and knock the romance right out of a relationship.” Distance makes the heart grow fonder,even if it’s just the coffee shop down the road.
If you’re planning on pitching some “me time” tonight, do yourself a favor and check out the full list of adviceHERE. There’s plenty more to help you from making that breather permanent.
Source:HuffPost