Advice for those jumping back into the "dating world" after a long relationship

Here's how to get in the right mindset to date again.



  1. Let go of the past. This is key. There is no point  getting back into the dating game if you’re still hung up on your ex or  trying to rekindle some old flame that was never meant to ignite. Take  whatever necessary steps you need; even consider doing a dating “detox”  if you will. Now is the time to focus on yourself, and part of that is  finding the relationship you deserve and are worthy of having.
  1. Be bold and put yourself out there. If you’re stuck  in a rut and have no clue on how to go about dating again, well the  oldest trick is in the book: Put yourself out there! Face your fears and  be bold. Are you sitting on your couch watching yet another Rom-Com  wondering how you can find love like these protagonists on the screen?  Well first off they aren’t sitting on their couch like you are. Get  together with friends more often (wing women or wing men) and get out  there so that you meet people. Chat with the cutie behind you in line at  Starbucks whenever you can, if for no other reason than to work on  those flirting skills. When you see someone who catches your eye, don’t  just smile at them. Talk to them.
  1. Make the first move. When you make the first move  and show that you’re interested, it shows that you know what you want  and aren’t afraid to go for it. Don’t be aggressive, but be assertive.  Send someone a drink, go up to them and say hi and show that you’re  confident. Confidence is an extremely attractive quality, and it won’t  go unnoticed. In fact, it’s what makes you stand out from your  competition.
  1. Ask a friend to pay it forward. If you’re one of  the few single people left in your group why not turn to those who have  strong and serious relationships to help you out? You might find out  that your best friend’s boyfriend has a smart and sexy single coworker –  and he could be your perfect match. It’s never a bad thing to reach out  to people you’re close with to let them know you’re ready and looking  to date. Let them know that you’re open to being set up, so that they  can pay it forward and help you out. It also helps to have some single  girlfriends to go out with – and help the search; because although you  love your married and newly engaged friends, those aren’t the ones that  are going to want to go out on a Friday night with meeting people as a  primary focus.
  1. Choose the right online dating apps. Dating apps  are becoming the most popular method for finding a partner. That doesn’t  mean you can’t find someone the old fashioned way or out and about; but  if you have a crazy busy schedule, two jobs, kids, etc. dating apps  might be the route you should consider. Plus, if you’re anxious and  nervous that your dating and flirting skills are lacking, testing them  out online can’t hurt and will give you plenty of practice before  meeting up with a date. Some of the best dating apps include Bumble,  Tinder and Happn. For the more serious daters, is a great one  too. Be careful, though, because most people who use dating apps are  dating several people at once. You’ll have to have candid conversations  when you get to the point where you might want to be exclusive and  you’re wanting them to stop using dating sites.
  1. Keep your standards high. The only person who  really knows what they want is you. What went wrong with all your past  relationships? What are your deal breakers? What are some qualities  you’re looking for in a significant other? Keep your standards high and  don’t waver. This will help you filter out all the wrong people for you.  There is nothing worse than dating someone for years who doesn’t want  kids while you do, or wasting your time dating someone who doesn’t  believe in monogamy while you do. Date the right kind of people from the  get-go, and your dating life will go much smoother.
  1. Stay optimistic and happy. Be happy. As cheesy as  this sounds – it’s crucial You have to be happy with yourself before you  can truly be available and open to a new relationship. Do some soul  searching, extinguish any lingering feelings for your ex and know your  worth. Once you are happy with yourself. all the right stuff will find  you. Hopefully, if you did take a break from dating, it was to work on  you so that you’re in a good and happy place before you start dating  again.
Jake and Woody

Jake and Woody

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