If you are in a relationship keep these things to yourself!!
posted by Jake McBride -
Don't share these things about your relationship.
(Bustle)
"Relationships are between the two people involved and those are the only people who [should] have all the details of the relationship," therapist Kimberly Hershenson tells Bustle. "Getting others involved only leads to varying opinions and suggestions from outsiders who do not have all the information." So, avoid giving your friends and family a negative view of your partner and the drama of unsolicited advice by keeping the topics below as private as possible.
Every Little Fight When your partner pisses you off, it's so tempting to run to friends and family and vent vent vent. But if it's just a silly everyday argument, do try to exist. "[Talking] about fights between you and your partner will only leave others taking your side and not giving neutral, unbiased advice," Hershenon says. "It will also lead to others getting a bad taste in their mouth regarding your partner because they are only hearing one side of the story."
All The Great Things About Your Sex Life "If you are in a relationship and respect your partner, it would be considered private or TMI to share what you both do in the bedroom," says spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport. "[It's] best to keep mum on the details."
All Those Not So Great Things... What can complaining accomplish? "Issues in the bedroom should be discussed solely with your partner," Hershenson says. "Sex is a very intimate part of a relationship and the only people who can fix the problem are the people directly involved."
Topics You Believe Your SO Misunderstood If things are currently confusing in your relationship, you'll probably want to ask friends for advice. But, again, it's not likely to help. "It's important to talk to your partner if you feel things are lacking in the relationship," Hershenson says. "They are the only ones who can fix it."
That One Rude Thing Your Partner Said While you definitely shouldn't keep ongoing problems a secret — especially if you're being mentally, physically, or emotionally abused — it's not healthy to share little thing your partner does wrong. "I like to tell my couples that I work with to keep all the outsiders out, meaning people that will not contribute to the relationship," licensed mental health counselor Montingus Jackson says.
All The Private Things You've Learned About Your SO "You are supposed to be your partner's confidant," says psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez. "Be the one person they can tell anything to and know that it is safe. Respect that role and that privilege, and do not violate their trust."
Big (Yet Still Undecided) Plans For The Future "Well-meaning family members or friends may want to give you advice," Rappaport says. "Sometimes their advice is selfish."
Future Plans You Have For Yourself People have some pretty strong ideas about how relationships should work. So, if you have plans that only involve you — like a solo vacation, for instance — be prepared for others to not understand.
Issues Your SO Is Having At Work If you're stressed out and need to vent, then go ahead and find a healthy way to do so. It's not necessary to share every detail about your partner's career struggles.
Any Financial Problems You're Experiencing "If you have issues regarding saving and spending, the last thing you need to do is share that information with anyone," Rappoport says. "Outside" folks can get mighty judgmental, and may even steer you wrong with some unsolicited advice”
Family And/Or Health Issues That Seem Private "If your partner is having family issues, money trouble, or any life stresses that they feel is personal, respect their boundary and do not betray their confidences," Martinez says.