It sucks to give 110% to your relationship and get nowhere near the same amount of effort in return. But what if you’re the one slacking in love? Here are some signs you’re more of a taker than a giver and something needs to change.
YOUR PARTNER DOUBLE TEXTS YOU. They know that getting a reply out of you is like trying to draw blood from a stone, so they always have to double text you if they want an answer about something in particular. It’s not that you never reply, it’s just that you’re super hard to get ahold of or you take so long to reply, which is exactly the reason why you often have 329 notifications when you’ve been away from your phone. It’s starting to feel tiresome for the both of you.
THEY ALWAYS ASK TO SEE YOU FIRST. You rarely ask to see them because you know they’ll initiate the plan-making conversation soon enough. Why go to them all the time when they seem so willing to take the reins on this one? Plus, it always seems like you’re the really busy one compared to your S.O., so you both often have to work around your schedule if and when you want to see each other. Essentially, you call the shots.
THEY’RE IN CHARGE OF ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS WHEN YOU DO ACTUALLY GET TOGETHER. You’re happy to sit back and chill when it comes to making dating arrangements because you know they’ve totally got it on their own. Everything will be done and sorted out for you, and all you have to do is show up at the time they give you. Easy peasy lemon squeezy—on your part, at least.
YOU RARELY SHOW THEM ANY AFFECTION. They’re going to have to come to you if they ever wants a hug and a kiss because they only get affection from you once in a blue moon. And PDAs? Forget about it! You’d much rather walk down the street solo than reach out for their hand.
THEY PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO TOGETHER. Most of the time, if not all of the time, they’re happy to invest money into the relationship while you rarely contribute. In fact, you might not even be able to remember the last time you paid for something. (Yikes.) In this case, perhaps it’s time you put your hand in your pocket to even things out.
YOU NEVER INITIATE SEX. If they want you, they’ll have to come and get you because there’s no way that you’re doing all the legwork when it comes to sex—or any of the legwork for that matter. Perhaps this is down to lack of sex drive or pure laziness, but either way, you should both be making the effort to please each other in the bedroom. If you’re not, there might be a big discussion in order.
THEY CLEAN UP AFTER YOU. When you’re at their house of they’re at yours, they’re always tidying and cleaning up after you. In fact, who needs to hire a cleaner when you’ve got your own personal one for free in the form of your S.O.? One minute you’ve made a load of mess and the next it magically disappears without a trace.
THEY BUY YOU EXPENSIVE GIFTS FOR EVERY SPECIAL OCCASION WHILE THEY’RE LUCKY TO GET A CARD FROM YOU. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day, your birthday, or the anniversary of the day that you got your pet pooch Ruby, your partner lavishes with thoughtful, expensive gifts for each and every special occasion and they never forget the dates! You’re happy to get them something cheap and cheerful from Walmart and you might have forgotten your anniversary once or twice already. Oops.
THEY’RE ALWAYS COOKING FOR YOU. They cook, you eat—match made in heaven, right? While some of us are not considered experts at cooking, both parties should be helping out in the kitchen regardless. Even if you can only do basic slicing and chopping, trying to be a decent sous chef is better than sitting on your butt and letting your partner do all the work.
THEY KEEP TELLING YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT DOING ENOUGH. The lack of effort on your part is starting to cause some serious screaming matches. In fact, perhaps you’re already been arguing about it on a daily basis. There’s usually a reason why one person is putting in a lot less effort than the other, so it’s important to try and address it. Is it pure laziness on your part or are you simply not happy anymore? Either way, it’s better to be honest with your partner and yourself so you can move forward together or apart.