5 things that are hard to discuss in a new relationship!

posted by Jake McBride -

People don't like to talk about these relationship issues, but they happen.


(Yourtango.com)

  1. Deeply hidden fears.

I don’t mean fear of spiders, but deeper fears related to your character and personality. Fears so repressed and ingrained that you may not even be aware of them. Such fears include being unworthy and unloved, not being able to provide for yourself, constantly seeking stimulation because you feel empty inside, not being good enough, not being impressive aside from your accomplishments, and being incompetent. Everyone has a core fear that drives their behavior. You are not alone. Your partner has a basic fear that they are likely embarrassed by, as well.

  1. Family skeletons tucked away in the closet.

Children believe that their family issues are an extension of themselves. Many adults still believe that the family they came from somehow reflects on who they are. While your family does shape you, they are separate and apart from you. Being able to talk about your family with clear boundaries separate from you is a sign of health. It also helps your significant other understand you better. In addition to your family having skeletons, you may have some secrets tucked far back in your closet yourself. These issues are never easy to share, even when you’ve come to peace with them.

  1. Secret dreams and goals for the future.

Sharing your goals and dreams is a very sensitive act because when other people react in any way that’s less than 100% supportive and confident, it can cause you to doubt yourself. Even if you don’t doubt yourself, their lack of faith and support will cause you to face the cold, hard reality that they are not the one for you. But you must do it in order to arrive at the truth. Either you will discover that you need to part ways, or your relationship will grow stronger as you find out that not only is your partner supportive, but the two of you are like-minded via being on the same page with your goals and dreams.

  1. Financial troubles.

Your financial condition is your personal, private business. Yet, if you’re sharing your life with someone, certain aspects will have to be discussed. Your lifestyle, travel, and any financial burdens inevitably come up with people close to you. Always remember that you are not your struggles. You are much bigger than any earthly affliction you face, and if your financial condition causes you embarrassment, try not to be so identified with it. Plus, you can always change it.

  1. Unconventional sexual fantasies.

Some sexual fantasies are easier to share than others, but sharing them with your partner can help bond you and create eroticism, even if your partner does not share the same fantasy. When your partner truly loves you and wants you to be happy, they will enjoy knowing about what turns you on. You being turned on turns them on. There’s no rule stating you have to share your sexual fantasies, but if you do, it could open a whole new thrilling dimension between the two of you.

Sometimes people don’t want to share their fantasies because they wouldn’t want to bring them into fruition in the material world, and feel afraid to put the idea into their partner’s head. As long as you communicate your true intentions, you have nothing to worry about. Ultimately, you cannot control another person’s thoughts or actions anyway.

Link: https://www.yourtango.com/experts/heather-hans

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