Can you flirt while being married and NOT cross the line?
What is harmless flirting?
Harmless flirting includes things like exchanging compliments, eye contact, or teasing someone without actually pursuing the other person. This is the safest form of flirting, because even though it feels good to be noticed by other people, you still know who your heart belongs to and you aren’t leading someone else on.
A tip to help you play it safe—the best way to think about harmless flirting is to think about how you’d act if your wife or husband were standing there listening to your conversation and interaction? Would you feel weird? Would you tone things down if they were there? Or would you be natural and playful?
What is risky flirting?
Risky flirty is exchanging words or body language that may invite the other person to pursue you. It’s putting yourself out there as available in some way, even if you really aren’t. This is the kind of flirting you want to stay away from.
Here are some examples of risking flirting:
– Creating excuses for private conversations.
Initiating a conversation that could lead to hanging out privately. In this situation, a few words may turn into a long in-person or text conversation that you would want to hide. This gives the person you’re flirting with a reason to believe you have intimate intentions.
– Engaging in physical touching.
A hug hello is fine. But if you’re touching someone’s knee, hitting their shoulder, or tucking a lock of hair behind their ear, you’re sending real, physical signals that you’re interested. This is a sign that the flirting has gone too far.
– Consistently talking about sexy or dirty things.
Are you always bringing up sex? Either their sex life or yours? It may sound weird, but even if you’re talking about having with your husband or wife, by bringing it up at all you’re inviting the other person to think of you in a sexual way. Subconsciously, you may want them to view you as a sexual person, even though you can’t pursue that kind of relationship with them.
– Blurring boundaries with the person you find attractive.
If you don’t make it clear that you’re married, then your harmless flirting could get you in trouble. Whether your marriage is new or not, happy or stale, you must be consistent in your words and actions when being playful with someone who is not your spouse. Being inconsistent can lead to increasing flirting and opening up the possibility of being intimate in a way that can lead down a slippery slope.