This is how you know you're dating "the one."
YOU BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY REASSURE YOU.
No matter what your past or current situations might be—maybe you’re still processing some hurt from past relationships or you currently experience anxiety—your partner will see this as a part of who you are and reassure you. It won’t be the generic, tight-lipped, forced reassurances you might have experienced from previous partners either. It will be loving, heartfelt, and delivered in a way that shows you they want to help you work through what you’re feeling, so the two of you can then channel that energy back into your relationship together. And the best part? You’ll believe them when they do.
THEIR SUCCESS FEELS LIKE YOUR SUCCESS.
And vice versa! When good things happen in either of your lives, you’re each other’s first point of call without a second thought—and you celebrate together. I’ve been in relationships where good things have happened and I’ve held off telling my partner because of how I felt they’d respond—unsupportive, jealous, and vindictive. It’s a toxic experience and if you’re reading this thinking, That’s what I’m doing, I’d recommend having a long think about your relationship. Same goes for if your partner tells you about their successes and you find yourself feeling bitter. When you’re with the right person and something good happens for them, you automatically feel like something good has happened to you too, and it feels amazing.
YOU CAN GENUINELY BE YOURSELF.
In more than one of my past relationships I’ve been pulled aside by my then partner and questioned on why I behave differently with my close friends compared to when I was around them. The truth? I didn’t feel like I could be myself with them, and the way they treated me when I was myself had a lot to do with that. Being with the right someone means the ability to be you, whatever that looks like! You don’t worry that your slightly eccentric ways of being are going to be judged, usually because your partner is too busy laughing and joining in with you. Not only do you accept it, but you also have the safety and confidence in your relationship to be able to say, “It bugs me when you do that, but it doesn’t stop me loving you.” And believe it or not, you’ll find those words are quite magical.
YOU SHARE THE SAME VALUES.
You also understand what ‘value’ looks like to the other. You have to know what’s meaningful for your partner and how they find meaning from you—and you have to practice it. This might happen naturally or you might spend years working on it together. When you’re with the right someone, you’ll both work at it until it’s right for both of you. You have to care about each other and the things you want in life equally and work together to support each other to make them happen, no matter what that looks like.
YOU DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE SO MUCH.
The future is this ever-looming something just on the horizon and we tend to spend a lot of our time worrying about it. I spent a lot of time in past relationships worrying about what was going to happen. When I look back at that now, I know that the main cause for my worry was an underlying knowledge that I was with the wrong person. When you’re with the right someone, you don’t worry about the future. Sure, there might be some scary moments and challenges, tough turns, and it might not always be perfect, but the point is you don’t worry about it. You know that whatever happens, the person you’re with wants to be with you and you want to be with them and whatever life throws at the two of you, you have this unshakeable foundation that you’ll just keep building on together.