Ditch the “We should do this again sometime!” if you’re 100 percent going to ghost.
- “Let me know when you get home safely!”Not only does this show interest in the person’s well-being (or, in my case, that they didn’t get pushed onto the subway tracks by someone), it’s also a pretty friendly way to get them to text you when they get home. That way, when they do, you’ll have the confidence to tell them through a text you weren’t feeling things because it’s *so* much easier behind a screen.
- “Good luck in that ______ this week!”You’ve just been talking for the last hour, maybe two, about the other person, so they’ve probably mentioned what they’re doing the following week. Wish them luck on whatever you can recall—whether it’s a work presentation or calling to make their own doctor’s appointment.
- “Thanks for the drinks!”or dinner, or coffee, or whatever. If you picked up the tab, “Thanks for the company!” works too. This type of statement is clutch because it doesn’t elicit any response other than “You’re welcome!” But if you really can’t think of anything to thank them for because they were a grade A douche, how about “Thank you for paying for the buzz I now have and will use to drunkenly swipe on other dating appers as soon as I get into my Uber after I unmatch you”?
- “Do you know how to get home?”It doesn’t have to be condescending (or it totally can be if your date asked if you knew how many carbs were in the bread basket you ate), but it’d be perfectly okay to end the convo with directions, a hug, and then a good ol’ pat on the back.
- “Give your pup a kiss for me!”…because you will, very unfortunately, never meet their cute pup to do it yourself, considering you despise anyone who chews with their mouth open.
- “Here, take my leftovers!”Let’s hope that your date isn’t awaiting your text for round two, but if they are (because you’re just that much of a catch), at least they’ll have some leftover Bolognese to snack on that can temporarily make them happy.
- “Gentleman (or ladies), if you are without a rose tonight, it’s time to say your goodbyes.”Hug them, kiss them on the cheek, and then offer to walk them down to their subway station.
- “Honestly, you’re kind of a bad date.”Hey, I’m always one for full-frontal honesty. How else do they learn?